29.10.09

So…. I’ve been given a computer. Toshiba laptop, hand-me-down. Nothing special you know…. But I can’t even begin to describe how excited I am to finally consolidate all of my music digitally. So great. Welcome to the world of mixes, playlists, DJ-ing for myself…. Good good good. Also what that means for you is it makes it a heck of a lot easier for me to keep up a little better on the blog. I don’t have interweb at home but I can type something up and give it the ol’ copy-paste when I get a chance. So… good news for you right? I guess… that is if anyone reads this anymore….

So as I’ve mentioned there’ve been a number of things over here that have been frustrating. Also lots that’s been awesome. “Stuff” has levelled out over the last few weeks. I quit the music team at church. Now… the old people didn’t like me much. I can deal with that. But my pastor was still pushing me to be “contemporary” at the same time as make them happy and it simply doesn’t work. Even having a conversation about the “style” of worship seems so petty to me. I feel like the feel of the music and the atmosphere of the church should be fuelled from the inside out not artificially created to try to keep a church alive. I don’t know maybe I’m off the rails but that’s how I’m feeling about it. Be who you are… who God made you… and figure the people who don’t like it will find fellowship with people they do understand and relate to. The more transparent you are the quicker it will be realized, which is good. What that means for WBCC? Stop trying to be artificially relevant to a phantom audience you wish you had… and feed the people who are invested in the church. I don’t know though.

It’s labour day here…. It’s freaking beautiful outside. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this but the colours here are extra intense because of the UV index thingamajig. We’re right under the hole in the ozone I think. New Zealand has the highest rate of skin cancer in the world, or so they tell me. The other effect of that is the difference between shade and sun even on a hot day is huge. Hopefully we’re pretty well out of the rain now.

I spoke at men’s breakfast a couple of weeks ago. There were about 15 guys in the room. I was the only one under 55. Felt a little awkward.

Saturday night I went to a show up in the Coromandel with a few mates. Katchafire and Opensouls. Got home at 3 am. It was pretty fun. It was at this place called the Coroglen tavern… some random little bar with a sweet outdoor venue out the back. Opensouls was pretty gospel/soul and Katchafire is straight reggae. I have a special warm place in my heart for reggae but after about an hour of it I was ready to shoot myself. Reggae shows sure get heaps of fascinating and unique individuals though. You’ve got your tranced-out stoned types, total hippies, moms… the whole spectrum. I do appreciate that.

I’m trying to work out my schedule for the first part of next year and I’m in a bit of a quandary…. I want to go to Samoa for a couple of months and build. Habitat for Humanity is organizing teams to go and I think it would be a cool thing to do. But… I’m not sure when. I kind of want to go to Samoa in February and March, then back to OR for a bit around April. The other option is to come to the states in Feb and hit Samoa a little later in the year… but the climate shock to come from dead of summer here to dead of winter there would be… traumatic. However certain people who are quite close to me are getting married in February and March and it would be cool to be there. I guess either way it doesn’t really matter too much. Samoa probably needs the help sooner but I’m sure there will still be plenty to do a bit later on. Maybe I’ll pop round to Tonga as well. I got a taste of island culture in Guam but just a little taste. It would be pretty fun to hang out in the islands, build during the day and play guitars around the campfire at night. Eat coconuts and pineapples… get bit by mosquitoes…swim in the ocean. Sounds alright. For a little while anyway.

1.10.09

Sorry it's been a while

So what's happening..... the last month as been packed busy, between people visiting, a road trip, work at church and otherwise. I'm trying to learn how to do this thing. The thing being life. Honestly right now I'm over it. The learning being learning how to give it to God rather than taking the yoke upon myself. I really, really, have no room to complain. At a point right now where I'm reevaluating... just about everything of who I am and who He wants me to become. Somebody asked me what my passion was the other day and I couldn't really answer.... because I feel like I don't know anymore. Do I have a heart for youth? Do I care about music? Do I even care about other people? Who am I? The word for this season has been that God is building me, strengthening me. It sucks. I'm not exactly what the leadership of the church was expecting. Or quite what they want. I could get started and go on and on about their issues and why they're wrong and all that, and a lot of would be correct and valid. But it doesn't matter. My part in this season is to stay faithful, and see what God does as a result of it. It's easy to see why people I've met have been jaded by working for the church... church as we know it can be such an institution, and the growth and sustenance of the church has become synonymous with the growth and sustenance of Christ. Ideally they should be the same but unfortunately in a broken world.... keeping a "church" alive and impacting people in the name of Christ can be pretty opposite. Spent a couple of nights at my YWAM base, they're running a DTS now... what did I find? YWAM is great. Absolutely awesome but I'm not a lifer. It's easy to fall into a YWAM arrogance. Easy to think you've seen the way God can really work and church isn't doing it. But however hard the path may be... commitment to the bride of Christ and helping her learn how to serve Him is a pretty noble cause. Harder than doing it the YWAM way for sure. i won't be staying with this church any longer than I'd planned. I don't want to be on the extreme end of a church culture spectrum, I want to fit into one. I'm still pursuing staying here in New Zealand. There's building to be done, also I might see about getting some outdoor education certifications and teaching rock climbing or something. Basically right now I'm slogging through. On the other end I know I'll look back and see something that couldn't have happened otherwise. Pray for me.

23.8.09

Well I'm in Sydney Australia for a few days. Got here on Wednesday and leaving this coming Thursday. It's been brilliant. Really needed to get away after the last few months of.... insanity... I'm a pretty emotionally level headed type (phlego...) but it's been a rollercoaster. Been good to just chill out. Staying with a friend of a friend I've made in Tauranga, couldn't ask for better. Sydney is a pretty cool city I think... although not sure if it tops PDX in my book. Of course there's the "home" factor so I could be a little biased. Probably.

The last few weeks in Tauranga have been quite a ride, I mentioned the job thing that didn't go too well already. At the end of that week I almost just took off. Almost. I'm really glad I didn't now. Some things are really frustrating but really.... I don't have any valid complaints. I live in one of the most incredible places in the world (although I heard someone say the other day that New Zealand is THE most beautiful place in the world... and I thought to myself "you haven't seen Oregon...") Can't compare, there's heaps of incredible places in the world. I've been blessed to live in a couple of them. Anyways I shouldn't complain... I'm living in a great place, I've made some great friends, I'm having an impact and growing a lot, I live in a great house, have a flexible schedule, get to play guitar a lot.... the list goes on. Another part of that is I've met this girl. Her name is Deb... short for Deborah... I met her shortly after I moved over here. My first reaction was something like "who are you and why haven't you entered my life sooner??" She's awesome, turns out she kind of likes me too :). Anyways the news there is I have a girlfriend in New Zealand. And I'm looking into staying for longer than expected. There's more to that equation than Deb, though she's part of it and would be worth it if she was all of it. Things are starting to happen in Tauranga. Well they've been starting for a while... but we're catching wind of it. I know the word "revival" can seem cliche but I believe it's happening. Starting in Tauranga, New Zealand, and affecting the whole world. Frankly, I DO NOT want to miss what God is starting. Youth stuff is going to explode soon... I'm starting some work with other youth pastors intentionally breaking down denominational walls and bringing the kids together as one body once a month. Our first one last week was unbelievable. Here I thought I was a leader for it and I was just along for the ride. All the kids need from someone like me is for me to make a place... to create an opportunity for an encounter with God and get out of the way. Learning how to do that. Anyways if I get too fired up I'll get going for a while. Pray for us. And think about getting over here!

6.8.09

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to keep up very well it's been a loco time. I don't have internet at home and the church used to be just down the street from my house... but it's not anymore so it's not as easy to keep up. No excuses but that's what's up.

I've had a crazy week. Last Tuesday I got a call from an electrician in the church to the effect of "come to work tomorrow, I have tools you can borrow." I said ok. So Wednesday I went to work. Kind of a hack job company, worked with some decent guys but the boss was a jerk. Wasn't going to work out so yesterday was my last day. I worked till 5 every day then had to be somewhere at 6 so it's just been insane. Good to get some work in... the metric system is stupid imho. Of course they all think imperial is stupid. Anyways that's that story. One of the guys I was working with fell out of an airplane once. That's awesome. I mean he jumped out, but his parachute had a malfunction and he hit the ground full speed and survived. No broken bones or anything, left an imprint in the ground like looney tunes. Unbelievable.

Church stuff... is church stuff. So many politics and complaints and "issues" which I feel shouldn't even be issues, people are messy. We've been meeting at an elementary school hall in town which is sweet but quite a bit of work to set things up. We're only having one service now. Honestly, it sucks for me. I'm at the middle of the same battle I've been fighting for years... old conservativy types having a problem with the way I worship God. I'm frustrated because I thought the whole reason I came here was to shake things up you know... but now I'm at the middle of this web of tension and pressure to keep everyone happy. Which is not who I am you know? I'm not built to keep everyone happy. I'm built to anger a few on my way through. And I don't think church is about making everyone happy. Honestly I was on the verge of just leaving last night. We had music practice and it was SO bad. I mean musically it was miserable. And I was having thoughts of how easy it would be to just dissappear. I have enough money for a ticket to argentina or somewhere. I hate that some days I just think "only a few more months of this..." Other days I'm jacked on it though. I feel like an emo rollercoaster man. I'm normally a pretty level headed phlegmatic type but it's unbelievable right now. Last night I was totally over it. The night before i was geeking out. Right now I just don't give a rat's ass. But it's not about how I feel you know? Hanging on to the truth of where God has placed me, even if it's only by one finger. I mean whether or not this was the exclusive path with Him, I'm here and he paved the way and I will be faithful with it. I will stick to the commitment, live on the vision and covenant. Not on what I feel like doing. I know He's behind me. I've made some good friends here, had a long therapeutic talk with the worship pastor at City Church last night. Just good to have somebody who understands, and to hear that in my position they would feel the same. There are some really exciting things happening very soon. On the 18th of August I'm taking my youth group to join with the baptist youth group for a night of worship and intercession for the city. It will be so rad. We're planning on doing it once a month, starting with our combined groups and then connecting with other youth in the city. Going to blow the top off of some things and I'm freaking excited about it. Also once a month we're starting a night worship service. Mike Carey, Jeff Hill, and I are the leadership team for it and it's unbelievable. Mike was in YWAM in New Zealand and Thailand in the seventies. Jeff was on staff at my base for a number of years in the late eighties and early nineties and was my connection to come back here. They are both so awesome and it's soo good to sit with likeminded ywam types and work out ways to give God a place to move. Also... Dustin is coming to visit and we have a road trip on the South Island planned. The poeple that own the house I live in have a campervan down there they said we can use. And it's registered with some special club that gets it into the secret spots. Awesome. Jodi is coming out for a week as well. It will be so good to see some old friends. Oh and I'm going to Sydney soon to see Jamie and it will be wicked. The weather the last couple of days has been absolutely gorgeous. We're in springtime now. Winter here was like no thang. Anyways I could keep talking for a while but I'll leave it till next time.

20.7.09

So I've just perused some old blogs from the myspace days and thought you guys might like to read a resurrection of this one... from the archives:

Tuesday, April 10, 2007
So..... I live in Portland. I have now for about a year and a half. If you don't know.... it rains a lot in Portland. It took some getting used to after the sunny disposition of the high desert, but it's cool, I can deal with it. Lately the weather has been unpredictable, due no doubt to the springtimeyness in the air. Which is awesome... I love the smell of a nice spring shower. I mean like rain kind of shower... not like me naked in the bathroom kind of shower. Although with the right soap that can be a great smell too. Lately the springtime rain has been coming sporadically and rapidly. We've had several beautiful days which at a moment's notice have begun pouring rain upon us for a few minutes... and then reverted again to gorgeous days... or not, and stayed gloomy all day.

I know that's it's lame to talk about the weather... but this is going somewhere, so bear with me.

Today I wasn't sure what was going to happen... but the day didn't start out with lots of sunshine and happiness. It wasn't hideous... but it wasn't amazing either. However, at lunchtime the sun had shown it's happy face, and while it wasn't as warm as it was last week, it was still nice out. I was like "aaahhhh." That was a relaxed, contented, relieved "aaahhh" not an in awe "aahhhh" or a frightened "aaahhh," just so you know. When I got home from work it was still nice out.

So here's the fun part. I had a couple of errands to run, namely to Fred Meyer and the bank.... which is in Fred Meyer, so the "couple of errands" consisted of.... going to Fred Meyer. Is it "Fred Meyer" or "Fred Meyer's?" If you were a dude and you decided to name a store after yourself... which would you choose? Or if you were a girl? If I named a store after myself.... that would be stupid.

Anyway... the fun part: Since it was nice out, I happily chose to ride my longboard (skateboard, not surfboard.... it rains a lot here but not that much) to Fred Meyer('s). As I left the house... the thought ran through my mind that maybe I should consider that it might rain spontaneously again... and dismissed it... like an idiot.

If you don't know anything about skating, or longboarding... then you should know this: Riding on wet roads or in the rain is generally not advisable. Both for the health of you and for the health of your equipment. Water makes things rust, and makes things slick........... and when you suck like me, it's not good for things to be slick. They make you fall down. My first experience with this was this one time when the roads were wet and I thought "Hmmmm.... I wonder just how much slicker they are?" One seriously bruised hip and shoulder later, the answer was "quite a lot slicker." But this was no concern, since it was nice out.

So I rode my longboard. Had a nice little ride to the store without negative event. Had to avoid a couple of day-old puddles, but that's to be expected. I got there, and did my business. Not like "I went to the bathroom" kind of business... or like "I just created a multi-million dollar company and now I go to the bathroom and there's cash on the toilet paper roll" kind of business.... like "I went to the bank and did some shopping" kind of business. I picked up some ritz crackers and some spaghetti noodles and sauce. Yes that is what grocery shopping in my world is like. Mostly I wander around for 20 minutes feeling confused. Today was a good day.

I walked up to the U-scan device.... both the most ingenious and the most rediculous invention to ever grace the days of retail establishments. There were quite a few people at the store when I was there, so I was obliged to wait in line for a few minutes for an available u-scan device. I stood there, content, spaghetti and ritz crackers in one hand and longboard in the other. I don't ride my longboard inside Fred Meyer('s) because I don't want to get kicked out. It would be fun though. Then I was next in line. One of the u-scan devices was not operation and was closed. The other five were operational, and occupied. Now... it's not uncommon for me to go "space-cadet" once in a while, so when people treat me like I've gone "space-cadet" I usually believe them. I didn't think I'd gone space-cadet but you never realize it when it's happening. A moment later the gentleman behind me.... I'm not sure if he was a homeless dude or a biker dude.... informed me in his oh-so-gruff voice that a u-scan device was available, as he motioned towards the closed one. I replied "uhh... I think that one's closed" and he corrected my gaze to the one next to it, which no longer had anyone standing in front of it. Thinking I had gone space-cadet, I snapped into action with an apology and made my way to the "available" u-scan device. As I did, the girl at the one next to it (the other side... not the closed one), who I'm pretty sure was a tweaker, smiled at me, in response to which I mumbled something about being "clueless as usual." I turned my gaze to the u-scan device, which displayed a phrase in large letters across the screen: "PLEASE WAIT." I was like "ok," figuring that it needed a second to recover from the previous transaction. I stood uncomfortably staring at the screen, painfully aware of the glances and subtle smiles the tweaker girl was throwing in my direction, as well as of my own awkwardness. But I played it cool... keeping my stance just slouched enough to be "cool" and just pigeontoed enough to be "punk rock." I stood. The screen still screamed at me to "PLEASE WAIT." An eternity passed. I looked up to the u-scan device operator to ask her how much longer I needed to wait, and she was occupied helping some people with a large array of large plants. I figured I'd catch her when she was available, and returned my gaze to the screen. I stood. I think tweaker girl was batting her eyes at me but I was being careful not to look directly at her, so I can't be sure. A moment later..... the lady with the plants walked up to the u-scan device I was staring at..... and I quote her: "excuse me I just need to finish up here."

.......


HAH!!!!!!!!! I hadn't gone space-cadet after all! Woooh!


However, I still looked like a total jack-ass. I mean like a donkey. A big stupid donkey. Flustered, I mumbled an apology to the lady, to which she responded that she hadn't "known she'd be coming back" but I know she was just trying to make me feel better. I appreciate that, but it didn't work. I backed away... hoping my brain would catch up to me and help me make my awkward situation better. It didn't. I stood for a moment like a deer in the headlights, surrounded by beeping u-scan devices and people who were internally laughing at me. After what was a brief second but didn't feel like it, tweaker-girl pointed across the aisle to another u-scan device which was about to become available, as a hispanic dude was lifting his bags. I mumbled a thank-you and shuffled across towards the imminently available u-scan device.... which was located next to the device that was now being used by homeless biker dude. The fellow just finishing at what was soon to be my u-scan had some momentary trouble with his bags and took a minute longer than initially expected. I apologized to him and told him I wasn't trying to rush him... he looked at me, smiled and nodded. A smile and nod that I know well enough by now to know exactly what it meant: "I have no freaking clue what you're saying to me right now but you're a stupid gringo so I'm going to let it slide." He packed his bags and left me to my new u-scan device.

Finally I was checking out. I glanced up to my left just in time to catch tweaker girl throwing me another look and smile, and quickly looked past her like I was looking at something much more important. I returned my attention to my u-scan and completed my transaction. Sweet. Now we're in business.

Shopping bag in one hand, longboard in the other, I made my way out the door, making sure to give tweaker girl time to get away without seeing me again. As I exited Fred Meyer('s) I was met with a new challenge....



...... It was pouring down rain. Like, a lot of it. From inside the door I gazed out into it for a minute.... and decided I didn't care. Throwing my board in front of me and leaping onto it, I peeled my shirt off..... deciding that "if I'm gonna be hardcore then I'm really gonna be hardcore." The cold wind and rain whipped at me, and I lit out of there, grateful to leave that place of embarrassment behind me. I cruised through the streets and sidewalks, arriving at a stoplight where I had to wait for a walk signal. I normally don't put too much stock in those but it was a freeway interchange so I consider it a little more dangerous. Thoroughly wet by now, I stood waiting, as a young man on a mountain bike rode up. He was dressed in a bright green windbreaker and a pot-smoker beanie (if you don't know what that is then.... you'll find out someday.) He had a beard. A long, full, untrimmed beard, which was pulled into a ponytail in the front. After a moment of silence, surrounded by the pounding of the rain and the loud hum of traffic, he spake thus:
"Dude..... are you tripping?"
My reply "Uh no I'm just trying to get home it wasn't raining when I left"
"oh"

Another moment of silence, and again he spake:
"Not that there's anything wrong with tripping, you know what I'm saying?"

I made an awkward noise that was halfway between a fake laugh and a "what the hell," like I often do in such situations, and the pedestrian light changed from a little red hand to a little white man. Bearded one took off rapidly on his bike, and I followed... making sure to give him time so I wouldn't catch up with him.

I continued on my way, through some more stoplights and back into my neighborhood. I turned off of Glisan on a road that I don't normally take, and gently rode through the rain towards the general direction of my house.... which is down a pretty steep hill. The rain began to subside. The road I was on curved towards my house, coming down the hill from a different direction. I dropped my right foot to the ground, dragging it to keep my speed down. I didn't want to go hurtling around the upcoming corner at full speed on a wet road. That would NOT be good. Things were going smoothly, my speed was in control, conditions were perfect. Aside from the wetness. All of a sudden I realized something: In the wet, it had looked like there was a broken spot in the asphalt, which I could ride out easily. What it turned out to be was a giant, far-stretching chunk of concrete somebody sometime had spilled on the road. I bailed... and managed to stay on my feet. My board hit my ankle at it was painful, but my running motion flipped my board over so it didn't roll away. Then I went home.


That was my adventure today. What did I learn?




Absolutely nothing.

12.7.09

Snow trip weekend? Success. Got back yesterday at around 3. Drove over to Turangi to stay on Friday. Didn't know what I was looking for so I overshot it. By a long ways. But what do you do, we made it eventually. There wasn't very much snow, I was a little disappointed but all the kids were amazed at thigh deep snow. They all had fun. A couple of them bailed so 7 came, a couple of them who haven't been involved with youth yet. I think everyone had fun. I was exhausted. One other leader, a girl named Alex, came along and I was soo thankful I don't know what I would've done without her. I have pictures to show you but I can't upload them from a cafe computer so they will have to wait. Saturday night we went to some hot pools and their rules were simple... "no fun." I exaggerate but that's what it came down to. So of course everyone wants to break all the rules. One of the girls is a little bit... clumsy... and biffed it on the walkway. And biffed it a lot trying to walk on the snow. I shouldn't laugh too much but... it's funny. Played mafia for hours. So that was cool.

6.7.09

K so weird story.

So I go to a community church right... well the property is owned by the Presbyterian denomination, who couldn't keep a Prezy church alive there so a number of years ago allowed that a community church meet there because a non-denominational church could survive.

They just kicked us out.

Crazy. Anyways so the church still exists, we'll be meeting at a school on Sundays and they're moving the offices to a flat in someone's basement. So that's what's going on there.

Going on the snow trip this weekend. About 13 of us. fun fun fun. Youth tonight will meet at my house. I don't know if that's a good idea we'll see what happens.

I don't really know what else to say. I'm going to get a membership at the rock gym this week. That's good. So.... things are interesting...

18.6.09

K so... I might have a story to tell. Or a few. Dude my mind is so engaged right now it's crazy. Crazy awesome. Anyways I'm exhausted right now so I don't have a lot to say except... I'm pretty sure God healed my hip. Today I walked at least 40k and every single part of both my legs hurts... except my left hip. Yesterday I walked 15 and it was hurting like crazy. I'm so exhausted. Remember how that hip was jacked from skateboarding wrecks? Yeah... it feels totally normal right now. Unbelievable. Anyways, going to go to bed but I'm kind of excited about that. That and I might... just maybe.... might be writing a book. Don't get too excited because I'm not making any promises. But maybe. Anyways. Quite a day.

14.6.09

I've come off the "transition high" in the last week. I don't know about you but it happens to me all at once. One moment I'm walking around looking around saying "hum-de-dum" the next I'm standing staring saying "frick...." But it's good eh, to hit the ground and find my feet in reality. It rained hard all last week, kind of made me pine a little for the northwest. I can't say my time here is always easy. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone trying to learn how to cope. Learning how to interact with people in another culture is... interesting sometimes. People in my own culture can be scary enough. It's a totally different ball game than YWAM... there we were all learning how to interact with individuals from a whole spectrum of different cultures. Now I'm in the middle all alone... thinking "you do... what?" Not alot of internationals in Tauranga. At least not as far as i can tell. The large majority of people I meet are born and bred Kiwi. A few English. I met an English chap yesterday who just moved here a week ago and I could hardly understand what he was saying. Unbelievable. I don't even notice how New Zealanders talk anymore. The other day I was informed that my accent comes through really thick when I sing. Someone even described it as a "twang." Yeah buddy, true to the Central Oregon cowboy roots. Even though I've never been a cowboy or liked country music... except Johnny Cash. Funny.

Our youth group trip is on schedule. It's going to be a lot of fun. Just praying for good weather, we're headed up to Mt Ruapehu and what I hear is that like most mountains... on a nice day it's amazing but on a bad day it's really bad. That'll be the 10th through the 12th of July. I'll take my camera. We're going up Friday afternoon, going sledding on Saturday, and coming back midday on Sunday.

My social life is picking up, which is nice. I'm still going to City Church on Sunday nights, probably will just keep that habit up. Got invited over for dinner at some girls' house on Saturday night, had a grand old time. One of them is from Canada, and was in a DTS at Faith Bible College when we camped on the front lawn and turned it into the third world. Hilarious. Last night after church a large number of us went out to kick it. It warmed my heart to have hangout time after a Sunday night church service, reminded me of so many great post-journey evenings. As people trickled out I lost count of how many "text me let's hang out this week" comments I got. Which is awesome... but I do have responsibilities... on that note... people do the sms thing to death here. It's a lot cheaper than calling on a cell. I'm not really a fan of text messaging in the first place, but a lot of them abbreviate the life out of the ol' sms. So sometimes it takes me a while to decode. But hey that's cool. The only thing is that the buttons on the phone I have don't exactly "work" in the traditional sense. It's one of those old nokias with an antenna! Oh man it's awesome. Except for the text messaging with "special" buttons. So I'm sure you can imagine what it would be like to watch me try to write a text message... concentrating very hard, and anger mounting with each button malfunction. I haven't thrown the phone yet but believe me..... there have been a couple of close calls. I played foosball yesterday. People seem to find it amusing when I yell incoherently in frustrated competitive rage. I don't find it so amusing.

K gotta go. Things to do.

6.6.09

Nothing really to report except I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

Man it's awesome. Plural even.

4.6.09

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=116721&id=589982541&l=25c3614d9d


Youth group went pretty good! Played some games and stuff. 5 kids showed up. After the fun stuff we spent a solid hour having a discussion about the future of youth group and stuff. I was stoked that they're willing to voice their opinions. They want rock n roll church. I told them I could work my butt off and do everything and give them rock n roll church but it would be better for them to fight for it and do it if they want it. I think they just need a chance to serve. I'm actually pretty stoked that we got the engine started on that. So we'll see what youth group turns into. In some way it depends on how much initiative they're willing to take. I told them the whole point to me of the group is that we grow closer to God together and maybe have some fun on the way. (Of course... they always come together but you know.) So... cool.

Going to Auckland for a second time this week on Saturday. Cruising up on Saturday with some dudes from City Church to just kick it for the afternoon. Should be choice.

It's cold. Going home to start a fire.

1.6.09

Just got back from Auckland, went up yesterday. Quick trip. Went with one of the youth kids to patch up his relationship with his pops. I didn't do anything, just along for the ride. It was fun. Their cat spewed on me. Disgusting. It wasn't bad though just kind of gross. I hate cats.

This guy moved in with me for a bit. His name is Sam.

We have our first actual youth meeting tonight. It's been a little slow getting things off the ground because of some communication snafues. But that's okay. We'll see how it goes. I think the kids all like me pretty well. Planning a weekend retreat in July. Just locked down the dates, hoping to find a place to go play in the snow. You know, maybe a cottage or something with a good woodstove so we can go without the proper snow gear, play in the snow and get all wet then go inside to drink tea and warm ourselves by the fire. Hoping. That would be rad. Also if it was free that would be rad.

The worship part of things is getting interesting. Singing songs is easy, working with dynamics of people not so much. I almost got in a fight with this big Maori chap over a stupid little technical detail. It was unbelievable. I didn't do anything but he blew up and said some things to get at me and I wasn't backing down. Fortunately the pastor walked in and diffussed things pretty well. I had a long talk with Barbara, one of the women who leads the second service and she reckons it was a bunch of frustrations he had that finally boiled over and I just happened to be in the path. I don't know though... we'll see. We've patched things up and we're all good but it's kind of crazy. There's other interpersonal dynamics going on also that are challenging. So... you can pray for that, that would be cool.

I haven't really looked into another job yet. I'm making enough right now to survive so the pressure's not on and I've been doing this that and the other thing. I went on a 20k walk the other day. My left hip hasn't been the same since certain "events" involving a "longboard." It doesn't usually bother me any but after about 10k it starts hurting like crazy. So I was limping for a full day afterwards. I'm going to start training, hopefully it will strengthen up and stop doing that. In summertime there's a backpacking DTS run on the south island and I think it would be cool to stop in there in January and go on a couple of backpacking trips. That's what the training is for. I'd like to get up to where I'm comfortable with a 50lb pack for 40k. I figure I should be pretty well set with that. The only thing is training for that takes so much time. My walk the other day was a 3 hour excursion. But if I start hiking up hills and in soft sand with a pack that should be pretty good. We'll see how that freaking left hip does.

Read this book, "the Barbarian Way." Erwin McManus I think was the guy's name. It was pretty good. Talked about how we "civilize" our faith. How Jesus is the ultimate example of "alternative lifestyle." We hide Christ in programs, orders of service, songs even. Church can be such a business. I get frustrated with all that crap. I certainly take it too far you know... I have a pretty unstructured personality so going where the wind blows is easy and fun for me. Some people need structure though. Like these guys who are playing with me... they want to know exactly how the song will go, exactly what we'll be singing next, to have an "arrangement" for the song. I appreciate the reason behind that but honestly it's been driving me nuts.

I've gone to this church across town for the last couple of Sunday nights. It's big and loud. I've met some friends there. Which is good. It's a little ways out but it's been cool to kind of get away, where I have no responsibility beyond myself. WBCC is an awesome church, but there's always something, you know? Always something I have to remember or plan for or call someone about. So it's cool to go on Sunday night and just be. I've come off the transition high pretty well I think. Recovering now. The first night at City Church was actually really good. They open up the altar at the end and this cat Logan prayed for me and I dropped quite a bit of stress. Good stuff. Refocusing on Christ is like a breath of fresh air you know?

14.5.09

Just to let you know... I'm moving back to the nice house this weekend. Whoo-hoo!

Also, got a connection to a woodworking shop on Tuesday. Going to go build a longboard deck, I brought my trucks and wheels with me. Maybe will start a NZ asphalt downhill club.

Might have a lead on another job... ropes course!! We'll see if it goes anywhere. Also there's a rock climbing gym here. And myriads of outdoor activities... I would love to get a job doing something like that. Driving a boat for divers maybe. Who knows. That would be sweet. Maybe I can be a tour guide, I discovered recently I've got the skillz. You'll see them sometime.

12.5.09

Hey! Just a quick update.

The weather has been back and forth like crazy between sunshine and pouring rain. Guess this is what it's like to live on the coast of a big island.

I moved a little farther from the church on monday. This place is free, housesitting for a lady in the church who has to go be with her sick mum in Christchurch. It will be for an undefined period of time. I have to take care of the German shepherd, but that's no big deal. But, I am a bit gutted to give up the bayside view.

I led worship here on Sunday. It went well, at least that's what they told me. If I'm not mistaken words like "brilliant" and "magnificent" were used. Of course, the week before I was here they didn't have anyone at all to do it, so the contrast set me up for success.

Starting to get more of a read on what youth group shtuff will be like. I was a little vague on exactly what my role with them was to be.. I thought it would be leading the senior high group but with some other people who were already helping with it. Nope. Just me. Solo. At least for now. I'll be working hard to get other people to help. There should be at least one female leader. I'm really liking my schedule right now... I kind of do whatever I want whenever I want. They haven't asked me to keep office hours or anything. Not like I have an office anyway... But the flexibility is cool.

Tried to go to a sunday night service at another church. Couldn't find it. I printed a map of it but left it at home. I want to find a loud worship service on sunday nights to go to. I really like this church, the commitment to people here is great, but I feel like I could use a place to just cut loose a little bit. Maybe that will just come with a little time here. There's one other guitar player on the worship team roster for the first service.... and... no other instrumentalists, and a whole handful of singers. Got one or two other instrument types in my crosshairs.

I'll try to get some photographic images of some of the people I'm hanging around these days so I can introduce them to you.

So I brought my bass with me because I figured bass players are always in short supply and I could probably pick up some gigs and maybe make a little cash. I looked at the bulletin board in the music store today.... chock full of "bass player looking for..." type ads. Apparently we're not in such short supply over here. So now I'm thinking "frick I packed that thing all the way over here for no reason..." Whatever. Maybe it wasn't for no reason.

I was thinking earlier today about something really profound that I thought I should write about. I forgot what it was.

7.5.09

So I made it.

I've been staying in the sweetest house ever for the last few days. It's right on the bay... there's a little boat ramp in the back yard and a canoe... a couple of the guys here and I took the canoe out the other day and it was freaking fun. Except when it almost flipped over. No big deal, it was just kind of cold and windy and I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.

The people here are so nice. Last night Koro & Kate, a couple who help with worship, invited me over after practice to eat. I thought it was to join them for dinner. Nope... they'd eaten already... so Kate made a full meal for me. Just like that. It felt a little awkward, sitting and eating their food while they didn't eat... but it was super nice of them.

Last night was our first practice. It was a little stressful. I suppose that's to be expected though. These things take a little time.

Haven't jumped into youth group stuff yet, we'll get that figured out next week.

Explored Tauranga a bit today. Downtown is pretty rad. If it's nice tomorrow I'm going to go to the beach. Driving on the left side of the road is SO weird. It's also weird how polite kiwis are in person and then how big of jerks they are when driving.

Isn't it weird how the word weird breaks the i before e rule? Weird. Now the word weird sounds really weird to me because of how many times I've typed the word weird.

Haven't looked into another job yet, waiting until I get a little more settled in to the church thing. They've asked this guy Mike to be responsible for me in terms of places to stay and whatnot, he's a YWAMer, spent 3 years in Thailand. I like him. We're gonna go hunting soon. Anyways, his brother is a cabinetmaker, so there might be an option there.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=589982541&ref=name#/album.php?aid=109569&id=589982541

I found Starbucks. I'm not exactly a proponent of Starbucks but it's familiar. Not much else is, so that's a good thing.

I'm totally going to pick up an accent. I've already picked up on a bunch of expressions/words. I'm not trying to pick up the accent, but I will...

So. There's that..... there's that. It's time to pay the piper.

30.4.09

T-minus thirty six hours and fifty minutes.

Flying out of Redmond Oregon on Saturday.

Pretty excited. Looks like in addition to the church project I'll have some opportunities with YWAM in the area... they've just leased a new space and will be doing DTS there soon. House of Prayer, Marine Reach, Island Breeze, and Impact World Tour are all based in Tauranga. I don't think I'll have a lack of things to do, that's for sure. The next couple of weeks will probably be loco... getting into the groove with the folks over there, figuring out how to do the job they seem to think I'm so qualified for... haha.

Confession time: I'm actually really excited to get my guitar back... I left it over there. Nerdy I know... I mean I have one here too, so it's not like I haven't been playing. Just... I have a connection with the one over there you know? You wouldn't understand...

Tomorrow is my last full day in the states for a while. Crazy.

The Journey crowd sent me off right last Sunday. Love you guys, you're the best friends/family a guy could have.

Been listening to Silversun Pickups. Again. They have a new album out. Seriously I don't think I've been this jacked about a band since I was eighteen. It's embarrassing.

I don't have much to say. Ready to get on that airplane. Or get off it, rather. Mom bought me a couple of books for planes/layovers... East of Eden by Steinbeck and Into The Wild by... that guy that wrote Into The Wild... anyways...

19.4.09

So....


My visa showed up. Just like that... no dramatic big green "approved" stamp or anything. I was all emotionally set up to get a big red "denied" stamp. Just my passport... in the mail, with a work visa until next February.

Here we go. I'm a little freaked out... to be honest with you, not getting the visa would have been an easy way out... not just of New Zealand but an easy way out of some other things too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a way out... I want to go back. But it's a push... a stretch... new territory... new ground. Definitely a new adventure. I don't think it will be easy. Everything worth doing takes some work though. Sometimes a lot of work. Staying here... with old friends who I love SO much, working construction, would be so comfortable, so easy. I'm done with easy though. Done with fear of failure. I want to be done second-guessing God. I want to stand on the edge of a cliff ready to jump if He asks.

I sat with an old friend the other night, we talked about how hard it is to communicate with words the things God does that go beyond words themselves. It's hard for me to sit here and type... every word seeming so trivial. I look back at things I've written... often to find that I would say things differently now, that they do not capture the truth, that sometimes the trivial words could easily send messages different than the intention. Like a picture can never capture the true splendor of so many things in this world.

I've seen a man's ankle, on which he couldn't walk, healed to completion in less than two hours after a small, weak prayer. I've seen money seem to come from nowhere. I've seen food... enough to feed ten... feed twenty-five. I've found myself on top of a cliff on a steep slope of gravel, slowly sliding towards the edge... prayed with everything in me and now have no memory of how I made it the next 8 feet to safety.

I believe He's the same God of the Bible. I believe the reason we don't see "miracles" in the western world is because we're so quick to write the supernatural off. This is the God I want to follow. This is the God I've told time and again that He may take me wherever He chooses, to do whatever He desires.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I don't hear the voice of God like I think I do. Maybe He's done with that stuff. Maybe I'm grasping at straws. But... if that's a lesson I have to learn then it will be learned the hard way, because there's too much at stake not to try.

Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I don't think so, but only time will tell. One thing I know is that if I bail out of this opportunity.... I will always wonder. I will always wonder what could have happened in some kid's lives as a result of my decision to go. Always wonder if I would have had the chance to help them find the same fire to serve God as I have found a small spark of. Always wonder if somebody's life could have been different. Always wonder what could have happened in my heart, my mind, and my spirit.

I will probably look back at this post in a couple of weeks and just sigh again at how I can never seem to really communicate these deep thoughts. I can write funny stories all day long... but never really capture the things that really matter.

So with that... I should be leaving in less than two weeks. Come visit. New Zealand is one of those places that can't be really captured on film. Or mixed digital media.

K I'm done baring my soul. At least for all of cyberspace to see.

12.4.09

Easter.

Resurrection Sunday.

The day we celebrate the day our Lord conquered the powers of darkness and rose from the grave. I want to celebrate today. God blows my mind.

I'm still in Oregon. Still in the NW. Still working.

I've turned my visa application in, waiting on a response. Feel like I'm levitating, like I can't really go for it here, but I can't really go for getting out of here either. Honestly both options sadden and excite me... so I'll be relieved to find out about the visa either way.

Just a quick update.

Happy Easter. Celebrate it. I plan to.

23.3.09

hey! So quick update:

Since the last post, I've visited Tauranga, decided to take the job, came home to Oregon early to visit and take care of a few things, planned on spending a month here, gone back to construction... etc.

The visa application process is a pain. I have to get a work visa to go back, which I haven't turned in yet because I need the church there to send me a few things. theoretically I was supposed to be back there for the first Sunday in April. It won't happen... not without a miracle. Or several. But that's what I'm shooting for.

Been cold. Acclimating is a problem.

Very good to see family and friends.

There's actually good coffee here.

I'd forgotten how "Portland" Portland is. Especially hanging around Hawthorne over the weekend. Unbelievable. My friend described it as.... "secondhand hipster."

Hiked to the top of Multnomah falls the other day. Never done that before, at least that I remember. Cool. Lots of people.

Home sick from work today. Working on a second story addition and I can't focus because my brain is impaired. Went in, then decided it would be better to come back home than risk hurting myself or someone else because I can't think. Just a cold, hopefully gone by tomorrow.

16.2.09

Wow.

So a month has gone by fast. Really fast. At least it has for me. We'll be flying out of Guam at 4 am on Sunday. We have a 12 hour layover in Seoul, then on the plane again headed for Auckland. One week of debrief time back at Oak Ridge, then DTS graduation on the 27th. You can come if you want ;).

The last weeks have fallen into some resemblance of a routine.... at least sort of. Hopefully you've found our video journals on youtube... if not you can search "Guam Outreach" and you will find them. They can give you a good outline of the things we've done.

We have two more sessions with focus groups this week, wednesday and thursday. It will be a busy week wrapping things up. Then on Saturday night we're having a huge bash, to which we have been inviting... everyone. Kids from schools, youth groups, churches, random people at the beach... it will be a good time. There will be food. Local food. Red rice, pancit, ribs.... yeah it's gonna be awesome.

This last week a few of us got sick from some bacteria in the water... we went swimming at a waterfall. 70 foot waterfall. It was pretty cool. I didn't get sick. Chad got real sick... bad enough we took him to the emergency room. It was kind of scary, but he's fine now. Rebekah, Mary, Courtney, and Derek got sick on different levels. I think a couple of them still feel a little down but everything is on the upswing.

I read The Shack yesterday. Yep, the whole thing. Good book. I can see why it caused some "controversy." Because of modern day pharisees. Who don't get metaphor. That's what I have to say about that.

As of right now my plane ticket home is scheduled on the 31st of March. But... and some of you know this and some of you don't.... I might be staying in New Zealand. I think I mentioned in previous posts about the church in Tauranga whose youth group we spent some time with. They are looking for a worship/youth leader, and they're very interested in me filling that void in their church. My plan right now (God willing... :)) is to head down there immediately after graduation. I've only met the youth group and 3 of the youth leaders, so I'd like to meet the rest of the staff and spend a little time with the church before any final decisions are made. I think they feel the same. Trust me, it's a difficult thing to consider. I miss my family, my friends, and the northwest a lot. But this could be a really good opportunity for me to develop some of the things that DTS has opened up in me, as well as meet a very pressing need for these people. It's a little scary, and a little risky. But one thing I've learned is that God can be a little scary and risky too. The position is as a member of the church staff... with a place to live, a car to use, and paycheck. However I would not be playing the role of "worship pastor" or "youth pastor" or "pastor" at all. They are looking for someone on the younger end of the scale because they want the vibrancy and energy that would bring to their sunday morning worship as well as to their youth group. I definitely bring vibrancy and energy, especially to worship. It feels like a good fit.

I know this probably stresses some of you out. Please don't make the mistake of thinking that I take this lightly. I'm honored to even be considered as a possibility by the church leadership. There are a number of things that excite me, and a few things that make me think twice. Tauranga is a beautiful city... about the size of Bend. It's right on the east coast, south of Auckland, and seems to have a vibrant arts and outdoors "scene." And you know me.

If I stay, hopefully I'll be able to make it home for a visit before too long. God has proven himself to me as provider over the last few months, through people who love me. You, my family (biological & spiritual) have made it possible for me to be here... Thank you. Frankly, I'm confident that he will continue to provide. So with his blessing, I hope to see you all soon, whether for a short or a long time.

I hope you're doing well... I'm sorry that I haven't kept in touch well. I'm hoping to have some more time to catch back up with everyone next week.

19.1.09

Hey everyone! Just thought it might be a good time to give you a bit of an update on what we've been up to. If you look in my last couple of posts you'll find links to photo albums and a video. Check them out, if you haven't already.

We've been really busy. Saturday nights there's a youth service that's open and advertised at several churches, and they asked us to run the whole service the last two saturdays. Pretty fun. We've been doing a bit of that.... helping with and participating in church services. Last sunday we helped at a korean church.

We're getting the ball rolling on a anti-alcohol abuse program for kids here. The goal is to create something that's specifically targeted at Guam and other pacific islanders, rather than just using something that's come from the mainland and a culture that is somewhat of a mystery. It's a several month project... our role will primarily be gathering data, by running focus groups of teenagers and finding out what they're hearing about alcohol and what their view of it is. We have a meeting with some important lady in about half an hour.

Went to Inarajan pools yesterday, and met a 14 year old kiwi and did backflips with him for a while. That was fun.

Sometimes people.... the people I live with... can be frustrating. It's not easy to spend almost 24/7 around most people. I'm sure I'm frustrating too. But it's going fine.

Went to the skate park the other night. That was fun too.

K gotta go. Hope you're all doing good!

13.1.09

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb0WJrJlO7A

8.1.09

Update time!!

So we've been in Guam for about a week and a half. Getting a better feel for what will be happening. We've gotten connected with several churches here who all want us involved with their youth groups. Also, through Zion church, we'll be working on a teenage anti-alcohol-abuse campaign, which is super exciting. Zion also sponsors Oasis, an addiction recovery program for women. The people at Zion are awesome... they've opened up a ton of resources for us. We've spent the last few days at Zion church working on websites and whatnot. I'm a bit frustrated with the fact that so far we've spent a lot of our outreach sitting in a church office... but hopefully it's all just steps towards getting out there a bit more. The alcohol program is really exciting to me because we have an open door to go into schools to do focus groups and whatnot. Very cool.

Tonight I'll be going to youth group at First Church of God with a few others... just to go and participate.

Tomorrow we're running the whole Saturday night youth program that meets at Zion... it will be youth from about 7 different churches.

I might be leading worship at First Church of God on Sunday morning... the communication with them hasn't been very clear...

So that's where we're at right now!

Here's a link to some photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=80111&l=2b4dc&id=589982541